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The first time I heard the phrase, "I'm in the weeds," I was waiting tables at a local, upscale pizza shop, Pizza By Elizabeths. Located in Greenville, Delaware, home to the Bidens, PBE offers delicious fancy pizzas and various bites.
I worked at this joint in the early 2010s when I started teaching and wanted to make some extra cash during weekends and summer. It was probably one of the best work experiences ever because I learned so much while being there.
I learned how to smile even when the person in front of me is demanding and not so nice. I learned how to balance chaos (and pizza 🍕) with a smile. I learned that being the second lady doesn’t mean you will give more than a 20% tip (I’m still upset at Jill Biden because she gave me $8 on a $40 bill when Joe was the vice president. I guess it was foolish of me to think she’d give a poor teacher who is working a second job a couple of extra bucks 🤯).
Most importantly though, I learned how to maintain a positive attitude and demeanor when I got in the weeds. This valuable lesson has transferred to many facets of my life and continues to impact my day-to-day.
When stressed, our body’s fight-or-flight response activates, impairing our judgment and decision-making. If we consistently exist in stressful environments and suffer from chronic stress we will eventually become burned out.
While I am no longer waiting tables, I still find myself in the weeds from time to time. I do try to temper this as Jimmy Casas recommends leaders should only live in the “fire” about 20% of their time.
This past week, I found myself being drawn into those weeds. Weeds that can suffocate and get you worked up in a tizzy if you’re not careful. When I felt myself getting drawn into the thicket, I pulled out my weed killer.
In this week’s post, I’ll highlight three tips that consistently help me stay positive amidst the chaos and challenges that pop up throughout the school year. These are my tried and true tips on how to stay positive and stay out of the weeds.
The Importance of Mental Clarity in Stressful Situations
Ever feel that overwhelmed frenetic energy in your head when you are overloaded in a challenging situation? That right there is the antithesis of mental clarity. When you do not have mental clarity, you can make mistakes, huge mistakes. Maintaining mental clarity is critical to effective decision-making and emotional resilience.
When stressed, our body’s fight-or-flight response activates, impairing our judgment and decision-making. If we consistently exist in stressful environments and suffer from chronic stress we will eventually become burned out.
Resilience eats chaos for breakfast.
If we are more in tune with our stress, we can put in preventative measures or reactive measures like controlled breathing and mindfulness to regain focus and control in the moment (The Tactical Guardian, 2024).
We all encounter stress though which is why resilience is so important. Resilience eats chaos for breakfast. If we are resilient, we can better navigate high-stress scenarios and prevail. We must believe that we will be able to overcome but we also need the skills.
Emotional flexibility, problem-solving skills, and a positive outlook are key to building your resilience (Connecting Mental Health, 2024). By fostering resilience, individuals enhance their ability to adapt and maintain clarity, even when facing adversity.
3 Tips to Escape the Weeds & Stay Positive
Right about now, things start picking up in schools. Tensions are rising and emotions are heightened. When you feel like there is no end in sight, and that you can’t breathe, try to remember these three tips that can help you conquer any challenge.
Remember the Big Picture
When we are consumed with the problem in front of us, sometimes that is all we can see. We are so deeply immersed in it that there appears to be no end in sight. This is why it is important to remember the big picture.
While it might seem like what you are experiencing is huge and catastrophic, if you look at the big picture, it probably isn’t. And even if it is complex and icky, it too will pass.
There is always an end in sight and you will get there. Try to step away and see where this micro-interaction fits in the grand scheme of things. In a day, a week, a month, a year, you might not even remember what seems like such a huge deal at the moment.
Remember you are strong and capable and can get through anything. 💪
Find a Friend
Toy Story totally has some valuable lessons in it. One of them is, “You’ve got a friend in me.” When you find yourself getting sucked into the weeds, you must tap into your network of buddies.
We all need to blow some steam with our friends and recenter ourselves, especially when things are heating up and the weeds are becoming an invasive bamboo forest.
Along with the emotional support they can offer you, you can also ask for help. It is a sign of strength to recognize that you need someone. You can not and should not do everything alone. Doing so is a sure why to burn out.
Go to Your Happy Place
Now, what your happy place is needs to of course be appropriate for the moment. For me, my happy place while I’m in school is going out and being with the kiddos. Nothing can cure malaise, fear, sadness, or frustration like being in a kindergarten classroom and getting tons of hugs and hellos.
When we are in those catastrophic or challenging moments, try to break free from them and recenter yourself by taking a moment in your happy place. Even if it is a five-minute break to recenter yourself in this happy place, I guarantee when you get back into solving the issue, you will have a clearer frame of mind and might even have a fresh idea or two.
We all need a brain or emotion break at times. So go to your happy place when you are feeling stressed and in the weeds.
One Last Thought
I spoke with a co-worker this past week about the challenges of being a principal. How this role is now so different from years past. You are expected to be everything to everyone.
While this might be true that expectations have shifted, individually, we are not powerless. Everything is a choice.
We can burn or triumph. We can succumb to the weeds or we can harness our weed killer. We always have a choice, and I hope that next time you find yourself in a situation that is draining you, you’ll remember these tips and fight adversity so that you emerge as the sole flower in a field of weeds.
References
Connecting Mental Health. (2024). Practical tips in building resilience in challenging times. Retrieved from www.connectingmentalhealth.com.au.
The Tactical Guardian. (2024). Survival psychology: Mental preparedness for challenging times. Retrieved from www.thetacticalguardian.com.
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