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It was opening day for the August teacher in-service. Teachers chit-chatted away, recounting vacations and grieving the fading days of summer.
We sat in the cool auditorium, awaiting our superintendent's welcome-back speech. I planted myself with a few teacher friends, reclining as the seat made an obnoxious squeeerrccchh. As she approached the podium, applause ensued and I leaned in.
During her first months, rumors swirled about her intentions and plans for the district. The faculty lounge back-channel gossip spread like wildfire.
Within her opening speech, she directly addressed that gossip. She exclaimed how she had heard some interesting things about herself over the past few months, all of which were far-fetched whisper-down-the-lane gossip.
She pleaded with staff to not contribute to this type of damaging speech and to instead approach her if they ever had any questions or concerns.
I loved her bold proclamation.
Here was a woman who did not fear the gossip and was brave enough to say, no. To call out the vitriolic back-channeling and encourage open dialogue. While I only worked with her for a few short months before getting my first administrator position, I will never forget her words.
She bravely and unabashedly called out poor behavior. The sickening discourse that destroys organizational cultures. That woman deserved a round of applause. 👏
In this week’s post, I’ll review why people engage in back-channeling. Then, I’ll provide four ways to address and dismantle gossip. We all encounter gossip at some point in our lives and even contribute. With these 4 tips, you’ll be empowered to face gossip head-on and slay it like a champion. ⚔️
Why Do We Gossip?
Gossiping serves as a method for exchanging details about the actions, words, and behaviors we observe (Baumeister et al., 2004). And it’s probably no surprise that people gossip to bond with others (Dunbar, 2004). We are social creatures. Unfortunately, our desire for connection can harm individuals, the organizational culture, and even our own social standing.
Now, sometimes gossip can be benign. For example, you compliment someone on a lesson or maybe you like the sweater they're wearing. This is prosocial gossip. Nothing wrong with complimenting people behind their backs. Just make sure you tell them to their face so they can feel good about themselves, too. 🙂
Unfortunately, we are probably more familiar with the not-so-nice gossip.
A more nefarious cause behind gossip is self-aggrandizing or self-enhancement. Why do some people speak poorly of others? To elevate themselves in comparison (Feinberg et al., 2012).
Honestly, this is a fool’s errand because those who are caught gossiping get the reputation of being a gossip. And trust me, that is a sure way to alienate yourself from social groups and individuals.
Unfortunately, our desire for connection can harm individuals, the organizational culture, and even our own social standing.
No one wants to constantly be looking over their shoulders, fearing that what they say or do can and will be used against them.
Finally, engaging in gossip can be a way to exert social control (Foster, 2004). Speaking poorly of others can reinforce group norms, creating us vs. them. These types of gossipers want everyone to conform to their norms, habits, and expectations.
Regardless of the reason behind back-channel gossip, if leaders allow it to happen, over time, your culture and climate will begin to break down. Negativity and suspicion will seep in and dismantle all that you worked for.
4 Strategies to Dismantle Back-Channel Gossip
So what can we do to thwart the infectious spread of gossip? Below are four ways you can dismantle and even prevent gossip from permeating your culture. The question is, are you bold and brave enough to implement each one?
Encourage open communication
The best preventative strategy for gossip is open communication. Clearly articulate that people can and should share their thoughts, feelings, and ideas without retribution. You can even explain in this plea for open communication that it is a way to avoid gossip - nothing wrong with being transparent.
Establishing listen and learns or having weekly communications or monthly newsletters that highlight your goals, vision, and/or initiatives can encourage open communication. Honestly, just being out and about, connecting with others, listening, and building relationships can prevent gossip.
Whichever technique you use, make it clear that you want and need open communication from your team to move the organization forward.
Address gossip directly
This is exactly what my rockstar superintendent did. She met gossip head-on. When you directly address gossip, you may bring shame to those who engage in it. Or, you may ruffle a few feathers, usually the perpetrators. Have no fear if you upset the minority. You never want to sweep things under the rug. If you do that, it will slowly destroy and erode your culture.
Imagine a beautiful 1978 Mustang. This is your culture. If you do not take care of it and allow that small paint chip (gossip) to go unattended, rust will set in. And over time, that rust will spread and eat away the beautiful car that you worked so hard to achieve.
Don’t allow gossip to go unattended. Address it immediately and directly. Most importantly, set the record straight by providing the real information and not the fabricated story that has morphed and taken on a life of its own.
Regardless of the reason behind back-channel gossip, if leaders allow it to happen, over time, your culture and climate will begin to break down. Negativity and suspicion will seep in and dismantle all that you worked for.
Build trust
Another incredible preventative technique is building trust. Trust eats strategy for breakfast. And boy does it taste good. If you do not have trust between you and your team, then gossip will just continue to bloom and bloom, like a bad fungus. 🍄
As I stated above, go out and about and build connections and relationships so that people know the real you. Over time, they will know where you stand and what you stand for. This is most frustrating for newer leaders because it takes time.
Just like my superintendent, the gossip train was choo-chooing all the way to the station because she was new. People did not know what she stood for because they didn’t have the chance to get to know her and see what she was all about.
Be patient though, and it will come.
Create allies
Finally, you must develop your network. Build relationships so that you have a team who advocates for you and knows who you truly are. They can help thwart gossip and set the record straight in the moment. These individuals will be your most powerful weapon to fight gossip. Finding these connections is key to ensuring that gossip does not metastasize like a nasty tumor.
One Last Thought
After the opening day speech, we dispersed to our various locations. As a department, my fellow teachers and I connected to discuss start-of-the-year logistics. We sat and reflected on the opening speech.
One teacher exclaimed how she felt like she was being admonished and chastised. She was one of the gossipers who the superintendent spoke of. In the halls, the planning room, and in meetings, I would commonly hear her spew venom.
She didn’t like the tone and tenor of the speech, but for those of us who were anti-gossipers, the speech was just what we needed.
It can be daunting speaking up and calling out adults on their behavior, but if you are to create a healthy culture, you must be brave enough to do so. If you don’t, you risk harming your culture by giving power to those who engage in back-channel gossip.
So be one of the brave and stop "spilling the tea."
Reference Page
Baumeister, R. F., Zhang, L., & Vohs, K. D. (2004). Gossip as cultural learning. Review of General Psychology, 8(2), 111–121. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.8.2.111
Dunbar, R. I. M. (2004). Gossip in evolutionary perspective. Review of General Psychology, 8(2), 100–110. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.8.2.100
Feinberg, M., Willer, R., Stellar, J., & Keltner, D. (2012). The virtues of gossip: Reputational information sharing as prosocial behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 102(5), 1015–1030. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0026650
Foster, E. K. (2004). Research on gossip: Taxonomy, methods, and future directions. Review of General Psychology, 8(2), 78–99. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.8.2.78
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