How Principals Can Create Connections with Students: The Power of Intentional Interactions

This time of year—late March—can be a grind as the lion of March still roars. State testing looms. Spring fever runs wild. Energy is at an all-time low. March can feel like the longest month of the school year, with no breaks in sight.

But like everything else in education, we find a way to push through, eventually welcoming April with open arms.

Lately, I’ve been making a conscious effort to stick to my Big Three interaction times with students. Do I hit all three every single day? No. But when I do, I feel noticeably more energized, refreshed, and committed to finishing the year strong.

In this week’s post, I’m sharing the three types of intentional interactions that give me the boost I need to make it through one of the toughest months of the year. Even if you only commit to one, I guarantee it’ll add a little extra fuel to your tank.

Why Socializing Makes Us Happy & Builds Connection

Even as someone who leans toward introversion, I always feel a little lighter, a little more energized after a great conversation. It’s not just in my head—science backs it up.

Socializing releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that fuels motivation and pleasure, giving that same kind of buzz you get from your morning coffee. ☕️

From an evolutionary perspective, humans are wired to connect. Survival depended on it. Baumeister and Leary (1995) called this the "belongingness hypothesis," which suggests we have an innate need to form and maintain positive relationships. Think about it—cavepeople couldn’t take down a saber-tooth tiger alone. They needed the strength of the group.

Social interaction also triggers oxytocin, often called the "love hormone," which enhances trust and connection while reducing stress. This is why a simple hug or a shared laugh can instantly lift your mood (Dunbar, 2010).

And then there’s serotonin, the mood regulator. Low serotonin levels are linked to anxiety and depression, while positive social interactions help boost serotonin levels, improving overall well-being (Cozolino, 2014).

Here’s the kicker—face-to-face interactions pack the biggest punch. While digital communication has its place, research shows that in-person connections, especially those involving eye contact and physical presence, release even more oxytocin and strengthen social bonds more effectively than online interactions (Dunbar, 2010).

3 Types of Intentional Interactions

Proactive attempts to build relationships are not only personally rewarding but also help foster positive behaviors in students. Here are three simple but powerful ways to do that every day:

1. Greetings & Goodbyes

What better way to start and end the day than by being fully present for the students you serve? Standing at the school entrance in the morning, greeting students by name, and offering a warm goodbye as they leave—these small moments build up over time, creating a sense of connection and belonging.

Mornings are also a great time to gauge how students are doing. A quick check-in as they walk in the door can give insight into their mood and mindset for the day. Likewise, an intentional goodbye reinforces that they are seen, valued, and expected back the next day:

➡️ “Have a great afternoon—I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!”

Never underestimate the power of simple words. You never know which student needs that extra bit of warmth the most. ❤️

2. Playtime & Lunchtime

Recess and lunch are goldmines for authentic interactions. Joining students on the playground or sitting down with them in the cafeteria offers a chance to connect without an agenda—just for the joy of it.

The cafeteria might be noisy and chaotic, but it’s full of good noise—laughter, storytelling, and kids being kids. Sitting down at a lunch table and casually chatting about their favorite foods or weekend plans may seem small, but these little conversations build trust and relationships over time.

And on the playground? Jump into a game of tag or shoot some hoops. Engaging in play reminds students that you’re human too—and that you genuinely enjoy spending time with them.

3. Presence in the Halls & Classrooms

Never underestimate the power of being visible. Walking the hallways and stopping for quick conversations while students transition between classes is an effortless way to check-in. Even a simple, “How’s your day going?” can make a difference.

Classroom visits take it one step further. Sitting beside a student as they work, asking about their progress, or celebrating their effort goes a long way in making them feel valued. Learning is deeply personal, and when we take an interest in what students are doing, they feel seen in a way that extends beyond academics.

One Last Thought

If you’re a principal or school leader, you might be wondering how to apply these ideas when your schedule is packed with meetings, discipline concerns, and never-ending emails. The key? Intentionality. 

Make an effort to be present every day at these moments. It will make the heavy lifting of all the nitty gritty stuff you have to do more manageable.

At the end of the day, leadership isn’t about the emails you send or the policies you enforce. It’s about the connections you create.

So, as we push through these last few weeks before spring break, let’s commit to making at least one intentional interaction per day. Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: when we pour into our students, we get just as much in return. 💙

References

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529.

Cozolino, L. (2014). The neuroscience of human relationships: Attachment and the developing social brain. W.W. Norton & Company.

Dunbar, R. I. M. (2010). The social role of touch in humans and primates: Behavioral function and neurobiological mechanisms. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 34(2), 260–268.

Pearce, E., Launay, J., Machin, A., & Dunbar, R. I. M. (2017). Is group singing special? Health, well-being, and social bonds in community-based adult education classes. Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology, 27(6), 518–533.