This past week, I connected with a coach I recently started working with. During our conversation, I unearthed an experience I blocked out of my mind.
Toward the end of last school year, my son and his class were doing the quintessential kindergarten science activity – releasing the butterflies. 🦋 An experience that kindergarteners remember for years.
After seeing the little caterpillars go through most of their life cycle and emerge from their cocoons, the kids release the butterflies into this brave new world, the culminating component of the learning.
A Seesaw notification went off on my phone. I clicked the big purple icon. My finger glided through the pictures as I searched for my son. Then, I landed on his image.
He and two other students sat on a bench removed from the class photo opp. Shocked, I kept going and stumbled across another picture – my son and the same two children inside the building looking through the glass. The rest of the class was outside with smiling faces as they released the butterflies.
To say I was upset is an understatement. Fury pulsed through me. How could someone deny three children the opportunity to engage in a learning opportunity? Something they had been working toward for weeks?
I asked my son what happened. He explained that all three of them were in trouble. They had to sit on the bench and be inside. His infraction - he blew in another kids’ face. Not appropriate, but does it warrant such a punitive consequence? Discipline should occur, but shouldn't it be about teaching rather than punishing?
My son’s dignity was violated. I fired out an email to be the voice for my son and the other two students who were humiliated and denied an educational opportunity.
As I reflected on this experience with the coach, I could feel the anger build inside me. Why do some educators continue to deny students learning experiences as a consequence? How will that address a child’s unmet need or skill?
No adult was sitting with the students on the bench, talking about their actions. Nor was anyone inside watching them. They were alone. They were pariahs.
These kids (including my own) were excluded and publicly shamed.
We need to reimagine what has been done and find solutions that will teach our children and not remove educational opportunities that are pivotal to their academic and social-emotional development.
I wonder if his teacher created the type of environment that my Madame did back when I was in high school. Did the students feel connected to her? Did they feel like they belonged? This was an engaging activity, but did she truly believe in my son’s ability to succeed?
At the end of this post, you'll find the four ways teachers can positively influence students, which I posted in January of this year. What was apparently clear from this experience was that all four pieces must be present to ensure that educators have a lasting, positive impact on their students.
I don’t think I will ever truly know the answers to my questions above. Recounting this event reignited my passion to find solutions for those students who don’t always fit the mold. Those students who need more grace, patience, and skill-development.
While I do not have all the answers, this topic is something I continue to explore. I think the answer lies somewhere in ensuring at least two things. First, there must be a culture of honoring dignity where everyone feels valued, significant, and a sense of belonging. Second, students need guidance in developing the skills they lack and are the root cause of their missteps.
To quote Adam Grant, we need to Think Again. We need to reimagine our disciplinary practices. Traditional methods are not fixing the skills our students lack. We need to reimagine what has been done and find solutions that will teach our children and not remove educational opportunities that are pivotal to their academic and social-emotional development.
I hope you will go on this journey with me and re-think some of the practices occurring within your community. It is when we dare to question and reimagine that we can create something better and brighter for our children and ourselves.
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